"But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation say continually, "Great is the Lord!" As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer, do not delay, o my God!" Psalm 40:16-17
Psalm 40 is really speaking to me today. Lately God is doing a work in me....a difficult one. I have asked Him to...this is what I get! Haha. It's amazing how after almost 5 years of marriage I still battle with insecurities such as money. Heck, I battle with a lot, just ask my family. lol. I battle with projecting my frustrations of money onto others, being prideful, too opinionated about certain subjects, and wanting to change others how I think they need to be changed. At this moment in time I wish we were the ones looking to buy a house because we could sit down and change things. Thus comes strong opinions onto friends and family who are looking to buy houses. ha! But I don't think that's what God wants. I think He wants to change us, not our circumstances...such a hard pill to swallow sometimes.
It's been a struggle for me lately (can you tell?!). Being the wife of an entrepreneur, well it's tough at this stage in the game. Not enough income to live off of but so much time devoted into the business. Payment doesn't come every 2 weeks. Sometimes it's hard when the business is getting attention but the regular day job isn't because I don't know what this week's paycheck will look like for bills. It can just be tough. The instability is hard for trying to have a budget because the income isn't the same every month.
Don't get me wrong, we are still paying our bills. I may make things out worse than they are on here...I am not really sure. We are still living, eating, breathing, and paying the mortgage. God is still providing for us. He is still doing awesome things with Kyle's business that I am not even mentioning. It's just difficult to swallow the reality of no "flexibility" in our budget at this point. Not having money to save for things we need to be saving for, etc. Or taking a vacation not even once every other year!
Whoever is reading this, please just pray for me. Hormones have been tugging at my emotions lately and since I have asked God this request (ohh), I am struggling (I really hope I don't regret these posts later). I need His help more than ever right now emotionally. So thank you for those that are :)
But.......I got my wipes today!! Love it. I am doing all I can to save money on my end. I put the wipes in my wipe warmer with water, bath soap, and a drop or two of melaleuca oil (tee tree oil). Already used one on Abby and it was soft! By the way, I have not forgotten about the table. There is no movement on it and the chairs currently. Since we are being extra careful, I have not bought more spray paint to finish the chairs. I will be able to soon though! Then I can do a post with the finished look. It will be good :) Thank you for your prayers and reading my rants lately.
"As for you, o Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me!" Psalm 40:11